-Synopsis

Graceful, elegant, agile, smooth; none of these are words that one would use to describe the things Gregg Dohmen does on the softball diamond.  However, he’s effective.  Here’s the scene: It’s late in a tight game and an opposing batter hits a long fly ball to right field where Dohmen has recently been inserted.  The Section 8 faithful in attendance gasp as he back pedals, trying to track the ball.  His skipper watches from the bench (injured at the time, shock I know) but does not seem to be panicking as the ball seems ticketed for extra bases.   At the last possible second Gregg steadies himself, and throws his glove up for the catch, inning over.  Chayce turns to onlookers seated nearby and says “See, that’s why I put him out there.  It ain’t pretty, but he fucking catches it.”  True story.  Gregg, or Grgg as he is affectionately known, was a member of the original Section 8 roster.  Although, he didn’t actually show up and play until the 6^th game of the season, and promptly whiffed in his first 2 at bats.  While Grgg may be known for trials and tribulations on the field, he quietly had one of the most improved seasons of anyone on the 8 in summer 2005.  He quadrupled his hit total, and nearly doubled his batting average, slugging percentage and OPS from the previous season.  After a forgettable 2006 season, 2007 was a banner year for Dohmen.  He played in all but 2 of the team’s games, including every single fall ball game.  He capped it all off by batting a career high .444 in fall, and was seen to execute at least 1 proper slide, and a couple more that were close enough.  After that season Dohmen came into 2008 looking to put together another big year and hopefully cash in with a big new contract.  And with that in mind he went out and had a contract year that would make Adrian Beltre blush.  He set new career highs in almost every offensive category, and is currently looking to break the bank on the free agent market. 

-Career Highlights

-Ranks 7^th all-time in doubles with 15

-Ranks 10^th all-time in runs scored (73)

-Ranks 9^th all-time in games played (75)

-Batted career high .524 in fall of 2008

His name is Matthew Andershak, but most of you out there probably never knew that.  And unless you’re his girlfriend, his boss or his mother you’ve definitely never called him that.  The man, known to the world as Shak (He’s a bad mutha… Shut yo mouth), was on the original Section 8 roster way back in 2004.  As one might expect, this former UW-Whitewater offensive lineman is one of the most powerful men in the Section 8 lineup.  Shak ranks fourth all-time in extra base hits.  Not all those hits have come from power alone; a lot have also come from hustle.  While Shak may not be the fastest guy on the team he is never shy about putting the pressure on the defense, and taking an extra base.  The result of that is some of the most entertaining head-first slides in recorded human history.  In the field Shak is a capable outfielder and has the versatility to be plugged into different spots if the need arises.  That is, as long as it’s not 3^rd base.  In 2006, Shak scuffled through a summer campaign that was below his usual standards.  But he rebounded nicely and turned things around in the fall, despite being exiled to a town on somewhere on the edge of the world.  In summer 2007 The Diesel returned to civilization and returned to form, putting together his one of the best all-around seasons of his career.   Like a number of other Section 8ers, Shak battled inconsistent playing time and the occasional injury in 2008.  But he started to find the groove in the fall and definitely hopes to carry that over into hi 2009 campaign.   

-Tied for 2^nd all-time in doubles (29)

-Ranks 3^rd all-time in home runs (5)

-Ranks 6^th all-time in RBIs (102)

-Ranks 3^rd all-time in games played (101)

-Ranks 5^th all-time in triples (14)

-Ranks 8^th all-time in hits (134)

-Ranks 9^th all-time in batting average (.424)

-Led the team in batting in fall 2005 while hitting a career high .550

-Career Stats

-Synopsis

There are two things we here at Section 8 are good at: beer drinking and softball.  Well, make that one thing we’re good at and one thing that is still a work in progress.  Keith Davis joined the team in the fall of 2004, and it can honestly be said that he wasn’t brought in for his softball prowess.  While Keith’s contributions to the Section 8 dominance of pitcher races are the stuff of legend, his production on the field is nothing to scoff at.  While he may not live up to the nickname, Mr. 1.000 (which he dubbed himself after going 3-3 in his first ever game), Keith has held his own in the Section 8 lineup. This was especially true in late summer and fall 2005, when he caught fire after some slight swing modifications.  Keith is also effective when he doesn’t swing the bat, having drawn 21 walks.  Hey…guys that take walks get laid too.  A knee injury sustained in the first game of the 2006 season cost Keith most of his summer season.  The games he did play were severely hampered by the injury.  He probably could have recovered quicker if he had shut it down immediately following the injury, but at that time Section 8 was already missing several key components due to injuries.  Keith, the consummate team player, took one for the team and gritted it out for a couple weeks while trying to help keep the team afloat.  In 2007 Keith only played in half of Section 8’s games, but in those games he was on pace to set new career highs for batting average, RBIs, runs scored, and pretty much every other offensive category.  In 2008, a late season slump hurt Keith’s overall numbers and sort of took away from what started out as a pretty good year.

-Ranks 8^th all-time in games played (77)

-Ranks 8^th all-time triples (7)

-Ranks 2^nd all-time in walks (33)

-Sets career highs in runs scored (8), and batting average (.500) in fall 2005

-Set career high in hits (13) in summer 2008

-Once helped a bartender break up a fight between two drunks after a game

Nick “Horsecock” Johnson is the pitcher for Section 8, and all good pitchers need a good nickname.  Not just a nickname, but one that can replace all or part of their real name, like Catfish Hunter, Oil Can Boyd, Spaceman Lee, The Bird, or The Rocket.  We at Section 8 know this so we have dubbed our pitcher Horsecock Johnson, or simply The Horsecock.  The reasons for this moniker are many but basically it comes from Nick’s reputed anatomic abnormalities.  Or in layman’s terms, we hear he’s got a big schlong.  Be that what it may, Nicky J is a vital cog in the Section 8 machine.  When Nick went down with a back injury before the first season it left a void at the pitcher position that we did not fully comprehend until after he returned.  In the 11 games Nick missed that year, Section 8 pitchers were 2-9 with a collective ERA of 13.61 and most importantly 82 walks.  Once The Horsecock returned and found his groove compiled a career record of 29-23, with an 8.89 ERA, and 162 walks, 202 Ks and one shutout, in 52 career games.  One persistent nemesis for Nicky has been back troubles.  In 2006, he started the season sitting next to Sutton on the IR after yet another bout with back troubles.  This limited him to only 7 games in summer.  However, in 3 of those 7 games Nick pitched shutouts.  2007 was a little different than what we’ve come to expect from The Horsecock.  It was one of his best and most consistent years at the plate, while being one of his toughest years on the mound.  He once again gritted through some injuries while having his best full year with the bat, raising his career average 33 points, while at the same time he posted his 2^nd and 3^rd highest ERAs and allowed the most walks per inning of any year in his illustrious Section 8 career.  It was an odd year for Nicky indeed, but everyone was confident that he would fully rebound in 2009, and that’s exactly what he did.  His performance on the mound was more what we’ve come to expect from this incredibly attractive man. 

-Ranks 4^th all-time in batting average (.470)

-Ranks 5^th all-time in RBIs (88)

-Ranks 6^th all-time in hits (117)

-Ranks 2^nd all-time in doubles (26)

-Ranks 5^th all-time in home runs (4)

-Hit a career high .571 in fall 2004, good for 2^nd on the team

-Only pitcher in Section 8 history with more than 10 starts, therefore owns every pitching record

-Career Stats

Jamie Wiemer was added to the Section 8 roster in May of 2004 to bolster the overall strength of the infield.  Always a fundamentally sound defender, Jamie did exactly that, holding down the shortstop position for the remainder of the ’04 summer.  However, when fall 2004 came around he relocated to Minneapolis and was forced to leave The 8.  In the summer of 2006, Wiemer came back from his Minnesotan exile and was eager to resume some role with the team.  With the roster essentially set, he became sort of the mobile reserve for Section 8; filling in where ever and whenever needed.  This year Wiemer’s main contributions came in Section 8 practices, where he took over as the “Tom Emanski of Section 8”; organizing and running an array of drills and whipping the 8 defenders into shape.  Jamie made his return to the field for The 8 this past October and did 3 things that had never previously been done.  First, he became the only player to ever to bat both left and right handed.  And with an RBI single that night, he became the first Section 8 player to record a hit from both sides of the plate.  Also that night, Jamie (never a fan of umpires) became the first Section 8 player ever to be ejected from a game and learned that the word “ass” when used in conjunction with “head” and “outta”, and directed at an irritable ump, is indeed a cuss word.  Wiemer’s biggest contribution to Section 8 in 2008 did not come during the season, but during the inaugural Section 8 Tournament. Jamie stepped up big in that event, notching 7 hits while playing solid D and helping The 8 to a 2^nd place finish.

-Career Highlights

-Only player to record a hit and an RBI from both sides of the plate

-Career Stats