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The internet home of Section 8 Softball and those who love them
News & Notes
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Wed, 21 May 2008
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Section 8 Update May 19
As I pointed out last week, in the long and
storied tradition of this publication we have
taken some in depth looks at some of the most
serious issues facing sports and society. Bob
Ley ain't got shit on the Update. Well something
occurred Monday night that brought another issue
to my attention, the issue of rookie hazing. It
was seemingly innocent enough, one Section 8
player, who will go nameless, (but for the
purposes of this exercise we'll call him "Liph")
took it upon himself to hide the recently arrived
order of food belonging to Section 8 rookie Peter
Dargatz. Seeing this incident of rookie hazing
transpire right before my eyes led me to ask the
question, "What took so long?" I mean, hell, the
guy's been on the team for 5 weeks now and this
is the first time anyone thought to fuck with
him? Sure it may cause deep, emotional scars
that may haunt an athlete for the rest of his
life, but rookie hazing is pretty damn funny for
everyone else. So, that will be this week's hard
hitting journalistic topic, Hazing: Why is it so
Awesome? So join me for this discussion and
more, in another rousing rendition of The Section
8 Update.
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This Monday saw everyone's favorite group of
future liver transplant recipients take the field
against an old, familiar foe, Jimmy Grotto's.
Section 8 and Jimmy Grotto's (in one form or
another) have been playing against each other on
Monday's since 2005, with The 8 getting the upper
hand on all but one occasion.
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Section 8 got off to a bit of an uninspired start
in the top of thee 1st inning. Things were
thrown into a bit of disarray when the game began
before their usual lead-off man had arrived.
This vaulted Sean, hangover and all, into the
number 1 spot, where he doesn't like hitting. I
know what you're all thinking, "How does Scott,
the guy that leads off every game, not make it in
time to bat in the top of the 1st inning?" Well
folks I have no clue either. It is speculated
that Scott, being the prima donna that he is, was
attempting to be "fashionably late" and mistimed
his entrance.
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Things got rolling for Section 8 then in the top
of the 2nd. Four straight walks opened the
frame, followed by 2 quick outs. Then Jamie
Curtin came up with a huge 2 out, RBI hit to
extend the rally. Phil followed with a run-
scoring double, and Terry knocked in one more.
The 8 scored 6 times in the 2nd and was in the
driver's seat from that point forward. After
going scoreless and giving up 2 runs in the 3rd,
our heroes came to bat in the 4th up 6-3. Three
hits tell the story of the 4th inning for The 8.
An inside the park 2-run homer by Dave, a hustle
double for Dohmen of all people, and yet another
2-out, RBI single for Jamie. This made it 10-3
and in the 5th things got really out of hand.
The top of the 5th inning saw the top 4 in the
Section 8 order finally get involved and the rout
was on. All 13 Section 8 players would bat in
the frame and they'd plate 9 runs. After
throwing up another bagel in the bottom of the
5th, the game was called for the slaughter rule.
Section 8 handles they business against Grotto's,
19-3.
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This game was probably the best hitting
performance turned in by The 8 all season. Yeah,
they'd scored a lot of runs in their previous
wins, but those were largely aided by walks
and/or poor opponents' defense. This week they
boys were hittin' it. The star of the game this
week is NOT Lucas for a change. In fact, I'm
gonna try to go through the entire offensive
stars section of this Update without even
mentioning him. This week's hero was Dave.
After scuffling a little bit early on, Davey
broke out in a big way going 2-2 with a walk, 2
homeruns (one inside, one outside the park), 3
runs scored, and 4 RBIs. Huge props go out to
the bottom half of the Section 8 order. Until
the 5th inning, Sean's infield single in the 1st
was the only hit out of the top 5 spots in the
lineup. Of Section 8's 19 runs, 14 were scored
by the guys batting 6th or lower. Special note
has to go to Jamie and Phil. They both went 3-
3. Jamie scored 2 runs and drove in 4 (a new
personal high). Phil knocked in 2 runs and
scored once himself. Perhaps most impressively,
all the damage done by these two came with 2 outs
in the inning. Nice work guys. Lucas also
hit....DAMMIT! Ugh, I almost made it. Anyways,
Lucas hit yet another home run this week. This
one a 3-run inside the park job, to get the
decisive 5th inning off and rolling. It was
Bittner's only hit of the day, sending his
average plummeting down to .667.
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On the mound, Nicky J rebounded nicely from his
rough outing last week. Just like last week,
Horsecock only allowed 6 hits. But instead of
allowing 16 walks with the 6 hits, this week he
kept it to only 6 walks. I know that's still
more walks than Nick would care to allow, but
it's a nice recovery after last week's
struggles. His final line was 3 runs, all
earned, 6 hits, 6 walks, and 3 K's.
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The drinking department also experienced a bit of
a resurgence. Last week's revelation that
Section 8 was not even winning its own night's
pitcher race lit a bit of a fire under some of
the guys. The end of classes for Sean also had a
major role in this, as did the return of many of
the Section 8 fans. In the end it was something
like old times with the gold shirts being the
last ones to vacate the establishment. The total
for the week was a respectable 15 pitchers and 14
bombs. The effort vaulted The 8 back into first
on Mondays, 2 pitchers ahead of Crossroads Pizza
and 3 ahead of The Brewers.
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On a serious note, we here at Section 8 would
like to take a second to recognize an awesome
accomplishment by one of our own. Huge props go
out to Philly B and his kids in the St. Luke
Grade School Drama Club. They put on a play last
weekend that Phil wrote and directed and it was a
smashing success. We are all very impressed by
the work done by Phil, his fellow teachers, and
his cast and crew. Awesome job Philly, your
theater skills are damn impressive (Fag).
__________________________________________________
As many of you know next week is Memorial Day and
that means no Section 8 game. The next Section 8
game will be Monday, June 2nd, at 7:15 against
perennial contenders Paulie's Pub (3-2). What
you may not know is that many of the boys will be
embarking on an adventure of epic proportions
this weekend. Many will go and, most likely,
some will not come back. We figure that at least
one person will not survive this trip. And being
the gambling fiends that I know you all are here
is the latest odds on exactly who will be the one
to perish (or at least end up imprisoned) in the
Great White North.
*Sean - 3/2
*Chayce - 3/1
*Terry - 4/1
*Bobbo - 8/1
*Phil - 20/1
*Eric - 22/1
*Jamie - 28/1
*Grgg - 40/1
*Scott - 100/1
*Jon - 500/1
Standings, stats, schedule and more at
www.section8softball.zoomshare.com
Posted 14:52
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